For The Week Of
February 17th - 23rd
Remember: The door on the left has candy; the door on the right has bees.
Don't trust that new toaster.
You're never going to beat God Of War. Give it up, go play something else.
There's going to come a moment on Tuesday night -- right after she grips the pillows, the phone will ring. Pull out then.
Your choice on Wednesday, seemingly innocent, will determine whether you end up owning a Fortune 500 business -- or scraping up elephant poop in a zoo for the rest of your life.
According to the alignment of Jupiter, it isn't in the same place it was. Also, make sure that you wake up at some point after going to sleep every time this week.
Quit your bitching. Anal sex is a part of any healthy relationship.
You're going to jail this week anyway; go ahead and get it all out of your system.
There's like, a 50/50 chance you'll die this week. But don't let it stress you out or you'll miss out on something great.
This is your age.
Don't do it; you'll regret it later.